!2/31/2018

Dear Tiffany,

   At about 10:30pm, Shan called me to tell me that you finally passed. My heart broke into a million pieces and I even felt it drop to my stomach at one point, but I couldn't cry because I'm at my annual family party to celebrate the New Year. After I hung up the call, I took a few minutes to hold back my tears before I called Nestor, Damian, Cj, and Kaimi to tell them the bad news then I sat there in silence. I can't believe this is happening. You can't really be gone, can you? We were just talking to each other three weeks ago. My heart is in so much pain because I haven't heard any updates about you since four days ago. The last thing I heard was that you were still fighting, but I guess your body couldn't take it anymore.
   I'm trying to remain positive especially since I'm out in public and I hate showing emotions, but I knew something was wrong. Nestor kept reassuring me that everything will be okay. He was actually hoping some of miracle would happen where your cancer and pain magically went away. I was secretly hoping for that too so I can see you again, but like I told you in the hospital, I understand if you want it all to stop because I've seen my grandpa live through the pain from cancer every single day without chemo for the last six months of his life. Do you remember that?
   We were only a few months into our senior year and though I wasn't too vocal about my personal life, you were the only one I vented to about my grandpa's situation. You were also the first person I told when he passed away because you and I were together that day. Sadly, three months after that, you were rushed to the hospital for your heart tumor and nothing was the same anymore. Still, you remained strong no matter what. I couldn't wait to see you again. I've been wanting to visit you in the hospital, but I didn't want to intrude and I didn't know if I was welcomed there honestly. Now I have no choice because you're actually gone.
   The news of your death hit all of us pretty quickly, and it ruined the rest of our 2018. I know you too well to know you would have wanted us to be happy because you hated to create such a problem for everyone, but we can't help it Tiff. Your passing is hitting us really hard...especially me. How am I supposed to move on knowing my best friend isn't here anymore? I lost you once, and I wasn't plan on losing you again. There are many memories we shared together that are now one-sided even though I wanted to rebuild our friendship so we can relive them again. Wow. This is a whole different pain in my chest that I don't quite know how to explain. One thing's for sure though, I miss you already, and I hope you enjoy the fireworks that are going to light up the sky for you. Happy Birthday to me right.